Martin Doms

The following is the text transcript from a video posted at JD’s Man Stories titled The Perils of Travel. This is not my content, but I felt the video was such a terrible medium for such a great story that a text only version was necessary. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, and be sure to visit JD’s blog, it’s a lot of fun. Video at the bottom.

During the Summer of 2007, I had the opportunity to backpack around Europe for 2 weeks.

I talked about it often before I left. My girlfriend however, although great in many respects, was not the world’s greatest listener.

I left on Friday June 1st. Despite even calling her to say goodbye the night before, she never realized I left. When I arrived home 2 weeks later, I had several emails from her, waiting in my inbox…

June 1st 11:31am
Subject: Maddy Babe!

*Smooch*

Hey doll, me and the girls are gonna hit up the maddy tonight. I’ll call you in a bit, you and the boys should come out too.

Love ya,
Em

June 1st 4:40m
Subject: Come out come out, hehe

Hey hun, me again.

Tried calling you cell a few times today but it kept going right to your voice mail. You’re not screening me are you?

Give me a call when you get this.

My cell was off for the entire trip so that I wouldn’t get insane roaming charges in Europe.

June 2nd 9:12am
Subject: Missed you! (frowny face)

JDddddddddd… I missed you last night! There were these two suepr creepy guys who kept trying to talk to us all night. I let the one guy buy me a drink and as soon as he handed it to me I told him he reminds me of my boyfriend, ha ha ha.

I tried you cell again but again no answer, having cell problems dear? Anyway, Maria and me are going out for brunch to try and get over our hangovers…. tonight, you and me, dinner at your place.

Call me today.

Later Baber,
Em

June 3rd 10:33am
Subject: Uh… hello…?

JD, wtf. Why are you not responding to my calls and emails? Where are you?! I waited all night for you to get in touch with me. I’m not happy here babe… call me ASAP!!!

June 3rd 8:41pm
Subject: (no subject)

June 5th 5:50pm
Subject: WTF

What the fuck is going on?! Why are you avoiding me? You’re not answering your cell, you won’t return me texts… JD wtf?!

I know you’re around! Your friend Jeremy is such a bullshitter. When he said he hadn’t seen you all weekend I could hear you talking in the background!
I thought you were different fuck nut!

Last chance… call me tonight with the best excuse of your life or I walk asshole.

Apparently she call one of my friend to find out where I was on the weekend. I have no idea what she’s talking about here though.

June 5th 8:11pm
Subject: Read this asshole!

I tried calling you, I’ve tried calling your friends, you mom. What the fuck did I do? Was it just time? Time to dump me? You could at least tell it to my face asshole.

We’re through… don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t bother now. You’ll never know what you lost, I was the one, and now I feel sorry for you because you’ll never have that again. I feel so sorry for you, ha ha ha.

She left messages at my mom’s demanding I call her back. My mom would’ve called her to tell her I was in Europe except she didn’t leave her number and my mom doesn’t have it.

I just got dumped while I was on a different continent than my girlfriend…

I’ve been in Europe for only 5 days…

And the emails are just beginning.

June 8th 1:07am
Subject: (no subject)

I hate you.

June 10th 3:44am
Subject: FUUUUUUUUUUCK U

Hey fuck fcee,

remmembe r that friend of mine that I was you were jealous of who said that nuffin ever will happen with well I was crying with him about you and he told me how amazing I was, how he always thought so and so i fucked him to show you I’m right! Now who’s the stuipd one? I can’t get any guy I want and whatr are you doing just sitting at home crying over how you lost me? Well don’t cry for me because you’ve already lost me asswhole! Ha ha ha ha ha

I would say I’ve been cheated on… but technically I’m single at this point

June 10th 4:01am
Subject: (no subject)

June 12th 2:20pm
Subject: Read ASAP

JD, call me, we need to talk.

June 12th 8:11pm
Subject: Just listen…

Ok fine, you don’t want to call me then just listen. I’m mad and hurt right now. I really felt something between us and now you’ve gone and thrown it all away and I have no idea why… JD, we were amazing together weren’t we?

We always had fun, and I tried to be so easy going and happy with yo. We were the coupel that could spend and evening out with our friends or laze about on the couch and either way end it all in fantastic sex and confessions of love. I know that something has happened to change all that, but you have to admit that you still feel something for me. To deny that is to deny your very soul.

I know you’ll call me tonight. We have a lot to discuss. A lot of bad and good. It may not change thing and we may still be broken up, but at least you owe me a conversation. A chance.

Em

I’ve been in Europe for 12 days. I am coming home on Saturday. On this day I go shopping in Rome and get a necklace for Em and write a postcard to my grandparents.

June 14th 7:01am
Subject: I tried…

I tried to reach out to you JD, I really did. But I take back all those nice things I said. I’m glad we’re broken up. You’re boring as shit to be with. I pretended so many times to like the stupid shows you like, to watch the stupid movies you like, to enjoy spending time with your asinine friends. I’ve moved on. I realize that you are not the right person for me in any way whatsoever. You bring out the worst traits in me and I’m a million times better without you.

I’m bringing a bunch of your stuff to your mom’s house. So long JD, I’d like to say it was fun but it really wasn’t. Believe me when I say I never want to hear from you again.

Em

June 14th 8:21am
Subject: OPEN FIRST!!! DO NOT READ ANY OTHER EMAILS!!!

If you love me, you will delete every email I’ve sent over the past week without reading it. JD please I am begging you that when you get back you do not read any email but this one. We’ve all made mistakes while you’ve been away. I can explain it all to you, call me ASAP. I love you with all my heart and soul!

Em

When she went to my mom’s house to drop off my stuff, she bumped into my mom… my mom told her I was in Europe until Saturday.

I read the emails… Em and I are no longer together. I learned two important lessons from this whole ordeal…

1. Careful when you date passionate people, because passion swings both ways. Sometimes they’ll love you, but other times they’ll hate you. And when they hate you… boy do they hate you.

2. When you go to Europe for 2 weeks, leave your fucking phone on.

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